Back home

Well superfriends, I'm home. I've actually been home for about a week now, but didn't update the blog. Strange, I wrote as often as I could while deployed, but didn't write much about the coming home process. I don't know why exactly, but I don't think I'm the only one. Even in my own community of embedded observers, there's plenty written about the deployment process and the actual tour itself, but very little on the return trip. Part of it could be that people are "smelling the barn door" and reluctant to take on new work as they start thinking of home.

But, I think there's a part of me that feared that writing about it could somehow jinx it. Military folks are pretty superstitious and I'm no exception. But now that I'm back, I can say that it was a long process and involved a lot of waiting. The route home was: Iraq, Kuwait, Ireland (just a quick layover), Ft. Benning, Georgia, Ft Leavenworth, Kansas, LA, San Francisco, then finally Shanghai.

Seeing Sarah again was not something I was apprehensive about, like some soldiers are. It had only been about 7 months and we had been in regular contact. No kids or routine to worry about messing up. Getting my head back into the game to return to work will be a little tough. Things have changed, market conditions have changed, projects have moved on, and a lot of my role has been taken up by others on the team. I'll have another week of break and then will ease back in, but am counting on some understanding from my boss and the guys.
It is strange to not be in uniform every day, have fewer restrictions on daily life. I've woken up several times and experienced a sense of not knowing where I am. I am glad not having to worry if today will be the day where a random act of violence will touch me or someone I know. But, civilian life also has plenty requirements and sometimes it's almost easier not having choices.

I count my blessings - I stayed safe during this deployment, I learned a lot, I have a wife who is strong and independent, an employer who supported my absence, and a group of friends and family who kept my spirits up. But not everyone is as lucky. Suicide and divorce rates in the military continue to climb. A good friend of mine confided in me a couple days before I left that his wife told him that their marriage was over. Three deployments in 5 years did that. He will probably get to go home early to try and solve things, but I don't envy him.
If you come across any spouses or family members of deployed servicemembers, keep in mind the challenges they face and if you can, say or do something nice. Many people don't know what to say or are afraid it'll come out like a cliche, but it is always appreciated.
So that's it for now! Thanks for sticking with my first blog during this little journey and I've dearly appreciated all the contact and words of support. I'll continue to update with life in China and elsewhere, so stick around if you like.